Posted by: jaime1010 | July 28, 2012

Thoughts on BiPolar

Bipolar Disorder has brought me through the depths and zeniths of creativity, curiosity, cautiousness, and compassion. 

I feel misinterpreted and misjudged most of the time. Totally misunderstood. Even by my own family members, those who are closest to me.

But because of this, I have written more, talked more, made sense of more, and simply created more in general. 

Because of it I care more; because of it I may be focused less sometimes, and other times, more so; but I understand more. I definitely have more sensitivity toward myself — and more toward others, especially those with a mental illness or brain disorder. 

I am more determined, and my perseverance has increased tenfold. 

I am also who resents yet stands aside from my mental illness. I have strong morals, make mistakes all the time, I know right from wrong but mania often compromises my thinking and impulsivity. I am a friend, a daughter, a sister and a maybe-some-day mother. 

Sometimes feel: let down, judged, isolated, misunderstood, criticized, happy, energetic, sad, emphatic, wishful, hopeful, disappointed, crazy, isolated, alone, spiritual, spirited, pumped up, ready-to-go, and too many more to list.

I can only hope to have more good days than bad…


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