Posted by: jaime1010 | July 29, 2012

Chops

Once, he wrote a poem

and he called it “Chops,”

because that was the name of his dog,

and that’s what it was all about.

And the teacher gave him an A and a gold star.

His mother hung it on the kitchen door, and

read to all of his aunts.

Once, he wrote another poem

and he called it “Question Marked Innocence”

because that was the name of his grief,

and that’s what it was all about.

And the professor gave him an A, and a strange and steady look.

And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door

because he never let her see it.

Once, at 3 am, he tried another poem.

And he called it absolutely nothing,

because that’s what it was all about.

And he gave himself an A,

and a slash on each damp wrist,

and he didn’t get to hang it

because he couldn’t make it to the kitchen…

Author Unknown

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Posted by: jaime1010 | July 29, 2012

Untitled Poem About Self-Seeking, Soul-Searching

Save me, sky, from these clouded patterns.

Hold me, ground, from this unearthly matter.

Make me smile,

Let me need,

Make me burn,

let me bleed.

Take me sun, from these frozen ways.

Give me up nights; let me seize days.

Make me want

Let me give

Make me frown

Let me live.

Keep me, conscience, from uncanny mistakes.

Forbid me, hands, from unfriendly shakes.

Make me cry,

Show me pain,

Take my clouds

and give me rain

There’s no reciprocity until you learn to give

There’s no reality until you learn to live.

Can’t I shine?

Why can’t I see?

There’s just too many masks for me to be me…

 

– Jaime Lynn Smith

Posted by: jaime1010 | July 28, 2012

Conformity

I wish I didn’t always hear

the ticking of the clock.

When I’m laying in bed sometimes

I wish my heart would stop.

 

I wish there was no leaving

because I’m heaving

and I’m hauling, with no help

but someone keeps calling.

 

They don’t heart it because

they’re all the same.

So ready to follow,

so ready to blame.

Blatantly lying as I’m crying

I say,

I didn’t fall,

 

I just heard someone call.

– Jaime Lynn Smith

Posted by: jaime1010 | July 28, 2012

A Mess

You say how alone you are,

and that you’re “such a mess,”

I know what state of mind you’re in,

nonetheless,

it’s hard to confess.

You say I can help you, build you up.

You say you can take care of me too.

But history has taught us differently;

it clearly shows I can’t handle you…

You know I love you, I always will-

in the end, it may be just you and me

But these things you tell me break me in half

and tear the life right out of me…

I dont know how to help you, I don’t know exactly

what to do.

I dont know what you need to grow and learn

and if Im the best thing for you.

Because someone needs to take care of me, too.

Posted by: jaime1010 | July 28, 2012

Ashes in a Glass

Do you know what its like to watch someone kill herself?

Have you seen that girl…

through the bottom of the glass?

Do you feel what’s inside the girl’s troubled heartbeat?

Blame and fear,

self-disgust, loathing and low-class.

 

Do you know what it’s like to watch one you love slowly die?

Have you gone through the pain: wrenching and uncontrollable?

Have you watched the girl point the finger at everyone else around her…

In hysterics…

An 80-proof mess, ashing a cigarette in her glass,

totally inconsolable…?

 

Did you try to stand by and do your “sisterly duty,” did you help her,

Keep her secrets safe?

Or did you let sordid details be known in an effort to help,

Subsequently getting the relationship erased?

 

She says you ruined her,

it’s all your fault,

you are the one to blame.

To bombed bits, her bubble is blown

when you tell her that of her you are ashamed.

The bottle

The shot glass

The line or pint

The case –

They’ve all taken part in tearing her down.

But she has no bottom – it’s mysteriously yet to be found.

And in the meantime, all who love her don’t sleep sound,

At the ring of the phone, jump out of their skin, pacing all around.

She’s heading underground…

 

Is not forgiving a person like trying to kill them by taking the poison yourself?

Posted by: jaime1010 | July 28, 2012

Your Ways…

You’ve got my mind running in circles

You’re confusing, but at least you try

To explain what you’re method is

I guess its me who needs to comply

 

Or should I not?

And just take it for what it is?

I’m beginning to think at this point

That no one will ever be his

 

You’re so unreachable

You’re so un-teachable

I’m fed up, yet telling myself I’m just filled up

With undefeatables

 

When in the world will you ever have time

To show me what you did before?

When in the hell will I ever see your ways

For what they are?

 

Just plain unacceptable.

 

Posted by: jaime1010 | July 28, 2012

Thoughts on BiPolar

Bipolar Disorder has brought me through the depths and zeniths of creativity, curiosity, cautiousness, and compassion. 

I feel misinterpreted and misjudged most of the time. Totally misunderstood. Even by my own family members, those who are closest to me.

But because of this, I have written more, talked more, made sense of more, and simply created more in general. 

Because of it I care more; because of it I may be focused less sometimes, and other times, more so; but I understand more. I definitely have more sensitivity toward myself — and more toward others, especially those with a mental illness or brain disorder. 

I am more determined, and my perseverance has increased tenfold. 

I am also who resents yet stands aside from my mental illness. I have strong morals, make mistakes all the time, I know right from wrong but mania often compromises my thinking and impulsivity. I am a friend, a daughter, a sister and a maybe-some-day mother. 

Sometimes feel: let down, judged, isolated, misunderstood, criticized, happy, energetic, sad, emphatic, wishful, hopeful, disappointed, crazy, isolated, alone, spiritual, spirited, pumped up, ready-to-go, and too many more to list.

I can only hope to have more good days than bad…

Posted by: jaime1010 | July 28, 2012

Untitled Love Hurts Poem

You act like you can’t wait to get next to me

Then you pull away

What am I supposed

to think or say?

Nothing I guess

Is best

For your formula for lovin’

Is no one’s to profess…

You’re like some tough castle to conquest,

Or something out of a game,

Which I don’t respect, but

am the one to blame

for I let myself feel the shame

In the first place.

Where was I at in the race?

Was there ever even a snail’s pace

I could catch to replace

Whatever is in your head,

Cuz it’s definitely not what was in your bed…

Posted by: jaime1010 | November 20, 2009

It’s Friday!

Can’t wait for my little night away from home tonight, kind of a celebratory occasion I guess…

I finally signed on for some contract work – hooray! And I have another contract assignment coming down the pike too so it looks like I’ll go from jobless to having two jobs…pretty sweet. I gotta admit though, I still want the job in Los Angeles but learned that they are not providing relocation….hmmmm. But LA versus Ohio? What would you do?

Anyhow, interesting comment came through on my last post about American Greetings Corporation ((NYSE: AM). Its from a former employee who does NOT speak highly of the company at all…

Here’s what she said after reading about the backdating stock investigation: “I used to work there a LONG time ago and the upper mgmt is filled with a bunch of Jews who will do anything to line their pockets.” This was just the beginning of her comment…Wow…talk about disgruntled. This is actually not the first Ive heard of disgruntled AG employees. The website Cleveland.com posts blogs on them every now and then and the comments are usually pretty viscious.

Wow, that’s pretty powerful stuff.  I wonder if they have someone in PR monitoring this chatter…

Living in northern Ohio I obviously hear things about American Greetings all the time but this stock backdating investigation has gotten some people pretty riled up. I hope that justice is served in this case, whatever the real truth is…Im so tired of companies and banks taking advantage of the consumeer and then US bailing them out. Enough is enough already.

Hope everyone has a good weekend:)

 

Posted by: jaime1010 | November 2, 2009

Ban Ohio Dog Auctions Petition, FINALLY!

Thanks to Mary O’Connor Shaver and ThoughtsFurPaws.com for this information.

Dear Companion Pet Lovers ~ 

As many of you may recall from the good news shared last week, Ohio officials have cleared the way for supporters to gather signatures for a proposed Ohio ban on auctions of dogs (officially called the Ohio Dog Auctions Act)!  We are incredibly grateful to the over 4,000 supporters (includes many hobby/show breeders) across 27 Ohio counties (and beyond) who assisted us in meeting this very critical milestone in our campaign!   

WHERE WE ARE RIGHT NOW… 

A unanimous 4-0 vote last Tuesday from the state Ballot Board means we may now proceed to ‘Phase 2′ of our signature drive; collecting a minimum of 120,700 valid signatures from registered Ohio voters by December 14, 2009. The signatures are necessary to put the proposed law before the Legislature in January 2010.  If our lawmakers don’t act within 90 days, our team will move to ‘Phase 3′; gathering another 120,700 valid signatures to put the Ohio Dog Auction Act on the 2010 ballot. 

WHAT IS REQUIRED FOR ‘PART 2′… 

Phase 2 of our signature drive will require us to move fast and smart in collecting 120,700 signatures!  To ensure this signature drive is successful and meets the requirements mandated by the Secretary of State, three important steps must take place:

> The total number of signatures collected for our Petition must equal at least three percent (3%) of the total vote cast for the office of governor during the 2006 gubernatorial election,

> Signatures must be collected from at least 44 of the 88 counties in Ohio, and 

> From each of these 44 counties, the number of signatures must be equal to at least one and five tenths percent (1.5%) of the total vote cast for the office of governor in that county during the 2006 gubernatorial election.

Because so many people across Ohio and beyond feel passionately in supporting an ban on dog auctions, we are confident we can meet this goal!  All we need is dedicated folks to collect signatures from each of the 88 counties and our Committee will handle the rest!

WHERE WE NEED YOUR HELP!   

We are reaching out to groups and individuals from across Ohio (and beyond) asking for their assistance to help us gather signatures by December 14, 2009!  THIS INCLUDES YOU! 

Helping to collect signatures is very quick and easy – you only need to be a resident of Ohio.  To assist you in this effort, we have created a Circulator Packet which contains the following:

1. Informational Flyer.  This document can be given to interested parties wishing to learn more about the Ohio Dog Auction Act and our campaign.

2. Circulator Instructions.  This document contains easy-to-follow instructions for collecting signatures. 

3. Petition (Ohio Dog Auction Act).

It is important to note that supporters who signed our Petition during ‘Phase 1′ of our signature drive may also sign as ‘Part 2′! 

****If you or someone you know is ready and able to gather signatures, please contact Mary O’Connor-Shaver at info@banohiodogauctions.com to have a Circulator Packet mailed to you. ****  

NOW IS THE TIME TO SERVE AS A STRONG VOICE FOR THE DOGS! 

The next Ohio Dog Auction is scheduled to take place on Saturday, October 31.  Over 300 dogs are expected to be placed on the block, including many from the state of Pennsylvania where public dog auctions are illegal.  Now is the time to send a strong message to our state legislators that dog auctions are an embarrassment to Ohio and its humane minded citizens, and voters and taxpayers are committed to supporting a 2010 ballot initiative to ban these events from our community!

Again, we greatly appreciate all your dedication and support for the dogs!

P.S.    If you are interested in purchasing any of our low cost ‘Coalition to Ban Ohio Dog Auctions’ gear (t-shirts, car magnets, lawn signs, banners, etc.), please let us know in your message to Mary.
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